A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila: The Home Visits

Somewhere along the line this show went from being an embarrassment to being oddly touching. Which is weird, because in this episode, Tila hit on an underage kid, gave a grandma a lap dance, tarnished a fireman’s pole by rubbing her crotch all over it, and made out with a guy on his bed while his parents sat uncomfortably, waiting for them at the dinner table downstairs.

Summed up? Tila tried to shock. And to an extent, she did. Blatantly announcing to a boy’s family that you’re bisexual (excuse me ‘a bisexual’) within minutes of meeting them isn’t quite exactly protocol, especially when these families are clearly… er… not expecting it.

Still, despite doing things that no one in their right mind would ever do if you were introduced to the parents, the episode managed to have its own … sweet moments. Tila seemed to genuinely care, and witnessing the home of the special needs kids, and seeing her bond with them? Actually made me… well… like her a little bit.

Her home visit with Dani, as well, brought some sweet moments, as Dani’s firemen family and her real family both made it clear to Tila that it was an honor to have Dani in her life, and she was humbled by the response.

But of course the entire point of the home visits was to weed out the bigots, and to an extent, I guess that’s what happened. While no one kicked Tila out of the house, Ryan’s family clearly had the biggest problem with her and her personality (what with her hitting on his younger sister and all), and that, was enough to kick Mr. Frat Boy to the curb.

Which leaves two girls and a guy.

Honestly, I’m a little surprised. There had to be three, but I never expected the balance to swing so highly in the girl’s favor. Then again, we’ve come down to the least anticipated top three I’ve seen. The obvious shoo-ins: Rebecca, Brandi, Stephen, La La, shot themselves in the foot and fell out, and who do we have left?

Amanda is only still around because Brandi left the game. She knows it. We know it. Tila knows it. Brandi leaving was a god-send to her, and with good reason. Now that she got the home visits, she got to show off her family (Her incredibly generous and sweet parents and the 7 special needs children they’ve adopted), which, it turns out, is the best thing about her. Amanda has always seemed the slightest bit of a hypocrite. She was featured in Lifetime’s ‘The Secret Lives of Women’ documentary in a ‘Lipstick Lesbians’ special, along with her butchier partner. Puzzlingly, one of her first comments about Dani was ‘Butches. Ew’.

That’s pretty much my summation of Amanda: Ew.

Bobby, I like even less. I would honestly find it so much easier to root for the guys on this show if they weren’t all terminal douches – Domenico excepted. This guy drives me crazy. He wants to come off so sweet and sensitive and then he just… does stuff that bugs me. Like insisting Ashli could not possibly know she was a lesbian until she had slept with a guy. He did other stuff too. I swear. Either way. He bugs me.

Which leaves me to the only contestant I actually want to win – Dani. Firefighter futch-y sweetheart Dani. Whose grandma got a lapdance.

Please win, Dani. For my sanity.