Tuesday, January 22, 2008

American Gladiators 104: It's a Step, Not a Kick (ballchange)

Monday is here, and that means more cheesy, ball-busting action.

The competitors:

For the Women: A really really annoying lawyer lady who also played women's football and apparently thought that somehow made her special versus a really spunky tiny lady who had been signing petitions to get American Gladiators back on the air.

For the Men: A really really cute hard-bodied 25 year old rock climber who wanted to give his widowed father and brother someone to root for, and an older firefighter with three adorable sons.

Things we learned from American Gladiators THIS time around:

1) It's not a kick, it's a step. - in an effort to disengage the firefighter lady from the platform is 'Earthquake' , Crush saw fit to press her boot onto the firelady's head, forcing her down. And then she laughed about it. Which was kinda awesome. Even more hilarous was her battle with the second contender, who managed to hang out, kick free, and was therefore caught dangling from the platform as Crush held onto her, squishing her and offering her congratulations.

2) When it comes to the pyramid, Wolf sees Red - Wolf can quickly become annoying with that howling he does, but the man knows how to kick some ass. He owned the pyramid, flinging the contender around like he was a piece of candy. It was kinda awesome to watch.

3) Small and spunky wins the race, but only if you're wearing shoes. - Losing your shoe does indeed sabatage any chances for a win. When our petitioner lost her shoe and then decided to fling off the only one she had on, the audience was befuddled. Even worse was the moment when Christine stared up mournfully at the travelater, it became clear to both her and us that her loss of traction lost her the race. It was a sad, sad moment. Particularly because the annoying lawyer lady won. Only because she had shoes.

On the other hand, our other small and spunky contender, the male rock climber, wore shoes, and kicked ass, with a new eliminator time of 1and a half minute. Hooray.

4) Whiners can win. And yet, not really. Lawyer lady pissed me off. For a football lady, she just would NOT.STOP.WITHTHECOMPLAINING. Even before the eliminator started she made a comment to Hogan that she 'wasn't feeling well' because she had been in the water alot. Suck it up, biyotch.

Thank god for small mercies, however. Even though she won, the dreadful eliminator time was just not good enough to pass up Venus, which means she doesn't advance.

Not to be a bad sport, but ha.

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