Wednesday, January 9, 2008

American Gladiators: Embrace the Cheese

I admit it proudly. I loved American Gladiators. Back when I was a wee little thing I dreamt of growing up and being able to take on Lace (she seemed the weakest one. I was sure I could do some damage).

It was the ultimate family affair. When my sisters and mom went on vacation in Florida, one of the first things they did was go see a live taping. They got a picture with Turbo (Remember Turbo? He was hot).
So it was with some amusement that I announced to my parents and my sister that an All new American Gladiators was airing on the tv. They piled upon my bed (because I'm 28 and I live with my parents, but phooey, it's 400 a month), and we watched the new incarnation in all it's cheese infested glory.

First off? Wolfman? Is stupid. But Crush is hot. As is the Toa guy who looks like a cartoon. Helga is scary, but I guess that's the point.

There was butt flashing, and sweat, and a heck of a lot of water. Apparently American Gladiator's stance on 'wet=sex' is as much as possible. The Eliminator is absolutely hell this time around, though I don't know why there's no deductions for falling off the bike and the water barrel. Didn't the old eliminator feature the gladiators forcing them to wait five seconds if they fell off? I guess the moving escalator thing is enough torture. The guys couldn't get up at all.

Still, the show is just fun enough to bolster that bit of nostalgia and make me want to squeal a little bit.

What more can you ask for, really?

Other than more butt flashes and wedgies, that is.

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